The Space Between

Another essential component to meditation is patience – with yourself. We all have some kind of internal dialog; a running commentary on what is occurring in this moment, like a sportscaster calling play-by-play action. It often happens when you start meditating that you become frustrated because you can’t ‘do it’ (it’s true you can’t do it!) and then ‘the voice’ turns on you. Be on alert for this internal dialog and be patient, kind and generous with yourself - no matter what.

This voice seems even louder and more insistent when you first start to meditate. This is normal. Often this ‘announcer’ can be extremely judgmental of yourself and others. Having patience means every time this voice rises up to deliver a comment or judgment about what is happening just recognize it as an aspect of yourself that is trying to protect you from something. It is best not to create another voice that now judges the judger and so on and so forth.

Patience with yourself and self-compassion is essential at this point. ‘Blame’ is a default reaction that is a false understanding of the situation and has a pernicious influence on our entire experience. There is no value in blaming yourself or others for any given situation.

Before long you will start to realize there is space between the thoughts that arise. In meditation, we rest our attention on this space between. Don’t fight or resist the thoughts. That is just another form of focus. Notice whatever arises; whether they are thoughts, body sensations or images and just let it go. You are focusing your attention on the background, the awareness, the space between the arising of these thoughts, sensations or images. Before long you will see there is a choice (even when you are walking around in daily life and not just sitting in meditation) to decide whether this is a thought you choose to follow.

By building up your capacity to focus on the space between you will be able to see thoughts as they arise and choose whether this is a thought that supports or furthers you in this moment – or not.

Since childhood we have all developed mental models that are automatic or habitual reactions to situations. Once we have the capacity to witness the thoughts that arise and dominate our attention we have the capacity to make the choice. This choice is the cornerstone of who we are as human beings and how we evolve as a species. When we choose to be patient with ourselves and recognize the power of our thoughts, we actually start to rewire our brains. Eventually we start to experience well-being, our immune system is able to function more efficiently, we experience less stress and more peace, compassion and creativity. Our relationships improve and we realize we are not dependent on any external situation for our happiness. We experience happiness directly arising from the choice we make moment to moment.